"Forget this life
Come with me
Don't look back you're safe now
Unlock your heart
Drop your guard
No one's left to stop you"'

Evanescence-Anywhere

Today was my grandpa's and grandma's 50th anniversary. It's amazing the miracle of love. Love is such a fragile thing. We search and search for someone and a few lucky people do find their soul mate, but there are those few too that never do. Those few that grows old...alone.... I look and my grandparents and I'm so happy for them, hell if it wasn't for their long lasting love I wouldn't be here. But then I look at myself. I understand everyone feels left out and alone after a break up but with me it's the fact I've been thru too many to count. I'm a hopeless romantic...i know. I have this fear in the back of my head I'll always be alone. I met someone last night. I almost didn't go to this party cause i have a fear of parties but I did go anyways, even tho I only knew one person. Well I met this guy, he was quite amazing but quite a bit age difference... 7 years to be exact. When u finally think you've met someone worth while you just get let down. The good ones are either too young, too old, or gay...great ty god.

Wandering

Sometimes I wander how much longer i can hold on? I mean, I have lost sooooooo much in my life these past few months. I'm literally down to like 2 good friends. I know friends come and go but I've lost all my friends for the stupidest reason. I let a boy, not a man, control my life. I know, I know, how stupid of me to let that happen to myself. It was bad. Real bad. My family and friends (the ones i had left) tried and tried to get me to get out of that. But I felt trapped. But i eventually got out of it. Yes lets all rejoice. But.... not rejoice long. After i finally got out i realized how much I had let him control me. I realized I had no one there for me. I don't know how u may feel when u lose a friend but I, growing up with so few, can't stand letting that happen. And, well, I did. So I guess I'm writing this cause I feel like I have no one right now.

I have decided to take this life's journey and lesson to mature a little more. I making some more friends now, some more mature ones. Friends I do need right now but still holding on to those true ones I've kept for so many years. The one's that even when the bad happened they stayed by my side. Another thing I have decided to do is for myself. I am planning a trip to London and if I must take it alone I will.

I have always had a love for England. When I stepped off the plane onto the beautiful country of England on Dec. 26th 2008 I knew this was my place. I felt comfortable. I know I've never been there before but it felt like I k new it already. To this day everything I have has to do with England. Needless to say I will step foot on that land again!

I love my Life, I love my Faith, I love my Family, and I love my Friends.

new book

so i was dreaming one night and this dream of mine caught my eyes. it was a plot line to a story that i have decided to write all i can tell you is a mix of Harry Potter and Twilight yes magic and vampires. well every one wish me luck i've already started

Day of Sadness and Happyness

today started offf ok started my new job and everything it was awsome till i got home and my grandpa called me and told me to hurry over there it's nala's time. nala was my 14 yr old cat i've had since i was 5 and she was suffering and i needed to stop that. my pop couldn't stay in there w/ her and i wasn't gonna let her stay alone so i stayed there and watched her take her last breath it was horrible i dont think i can do it again i loved that cat to death she was one of my baby's but atleast i know she's happier and in a better place and so now i seek gods love to help me cope w/ her going. then now i'm about to study for an evil college exam then get to see my boyfriend and i know he'll be there for me when i think of my Nala.

so today was a crazy ass day finished my final essay for the semester but did not write my speech so i went to class and did my "speech" so horrible i dont even care wut my grade was. afterwards billy came over (my BF) and we went to hooka bar. man does that make me feel better...untill dizynesss gah!!!!!

My First Blog

so everyone this will be my first blog a few ppl got me to try this and so i am doing so. Fisrt me, I'm 19 a freshmen in college in Va. sooo i'm thinking about putting on here a few of my spontenous poems i happen to write alot and blogs are a good place to get shit out of your head and just clear so this is my first entry
signing off