"Forget this life
Come with me
Don't look back you're safe now
Unlock your heart
Drop your guard
No one's left to stop you"'

Evanescence-Anywhere

Today was my grandpa's and grandma's 50th anniversary. It's amazing the miracle of love. Love is such a fragile thing. We search and search for someone and a few lucky people do find their soul mate, but there are those few too that never do. Those few that grows old...alone.... I look and my grandparents and I'm so happy for them, hell if it wasn't for their long lasting love I wouldn't be here. But then I look at myself. I understand everyone feels left out and alone after a break up but with me it's the fact I've been thru too many to count. I'm a hopeless romantic...i know. I have this fear in the back of my head I'll always be alone. I met someone last night. I almost didn't go to this party cause i have a fear of parties but I did go anyways, even tho I only knew one person. Well I met this guy, he was quite amazing but quite a bit age difference... 7 years to be exact. When u finally think you've met someone worth while you just get let down. The good ones are either too young, too old, or gay...great ty god.

Wandering

Sometimes I wander how much longer i can hold on? I mean, I have lost sooooooo much in my life these past few months. I'm literally down to like 2 good friends. I know friends come and go but I've lost all my friends for the stupidest reason. I let a boy, not a man, control my life. I know, I know, how stupid of me to let that happen to myself. It was bad. Real bad. My family and friends (the ones i had left) tried and tried to get me to get out of that. But I felt trapped. But i eventually got out of it. Yes lets all rejoice. But.... not rejoice long. After i finally got out i realized how much I had let him control me. I realized I had no one there for me. I don't know how u may feel when u lose a friend but I, growing up with so few, can't stand letting that happen. And, well, I did. So I guess I'm writing this cause I feel like I have no one right now.

I have decided to take this life's journey and lesson to mature a little more. I making some more friends now, some more mature ones. Friends I do need right now but still holding on to those true ones I've kept for so many years. The one's that even when the bad happened they stayed by my side. Another thing I have decided to do is for myself. I am planning a trip to London and if I must take it alone I will.

I have always had a love for England. When I stepped off the plane onto the beautiful country of England on Dec. 26th 2008 I knew this was my place. I felt comfortable. I know I've never been there before but it felt like I k new it already. To this day everything I have has to do with England. Needless to say I will step foot on that land again!

I love my Life, I love my Faith, I love my Family, and I love my Friends.